As Christians, we are called the "body of Christ". Well, that's got me thinking about the HOWs and WHYs behind the reaction some have to my being a Christian or, ultimately, how some react to the "Christian Church" in general.
I'm a simple person so it all brings me back to my freshman year of college and a psych course i took where i remember reading HOW people, in general, process information and ultimately "receive" communication. We all know this, this is not "new" information. I believe that these are the ratios, but if i'm wrong, oh well, it isnt central to the discussion anyway. Human communication - both sending and receiving - can be boiled down to 3 general categories:
Spoken Words, the technical words we use
Tonality, the emotion behind those words
Body Language, those words in action
and these all carry different "weights" of influence or have different levels of impact on the message we wish to deliver. These weights are:
Spoken Words: 7%
Tonality: 38%
Body Language: 55%
in other words, our actions really DO speak louder than our words...
BUT that all leads me back to the notion of the "church" being the "body of Christ"... what message are we really saying? A wonderful sermon and bulletin, combined with a terrific worship service can begin a very distinct and Christ-like communication -which can easily be undermined if the "body language" of the church - how welcoming are we... do we really feed the poor and care for the orphans... do we genuinely act out of love or something else...
We may be "saying" all the right things, but our actions send the real message. Where DO we spend our time and our other resources?
Look at the actions and the behaviors of your "church body"... of the small groups... of the... well, you get the picture... what message ARE you REALLY saying? is it consistent with who you say you are?
"You can not talk your way out of something you've acted yourself into." - Stephen Covey
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
WIth all due respect to Casting Crowns... if we are the body... why are my feet hurting... why is my back aching...
Last week, i woke up - always a good sign - felt great, no fever, no internal signs of being sick BUT every joint in my body was swollen. I am not a "husky" person (when i was a kid, there were "regular" jeans for boys... and then "husky" for the large boned) but i could not see my knuckles on my hand, my ankles were huge, and I could feel my feet filling my shoes. Now, this is not a plea for assistance - the best minds of medical and non-medical science - that are free - have been sought and are on the case - and with some change in diet, etc., the swelling has gone away. However, I was disconcerted and my wife made sure the life insurance was paid up (a pragmatic girl, to be sure)...
But this got me thinking - I knew something was "wrong" because I am conscious of how my body feels when it is "healthy". This got me thinking about the Body of Christ - the church... and then individual "churches" as a whole. What IS a healthy body when it comes to the church? How do we know when we are off and "sick"?
I think a great place to start is to look at the Bible (duh!) (CAVEAT: I am no scholar by any stretch of the imagination, so I would encourage you to do your own search in the Bible and THEN look at your church). I am thinking about, in general, Acts 2 and 6. The Acts 2 church, in my simplistic mind, taking care of one another, the sharing of resources and skills; just that overall feeling of belonging and of one body. It reminds me of the start-up church I was a member of - everyone really pulling together and building a great community even though we changed venues every couple of weeks (well... it felt like that). And then in Acts 6 you have growth, people who are "different" and here is **gasp** conflict... which is resolved by putting in a more formal organizational structure. In Matthew 28, we are called to go and make disciples. And as I was praying about this, I was looking at John 17 where Jesus prays that we will be one with the Father as He is one.
So... in a simple way, healthy from these perspectives could be a place where everyone is cared for and resources and skills are not squandered but used for the benefit of the community; there is healthy conflict and a flexible organization built to handle the inevitable challenges and produce disciples ultimately demonstrating a "oneness" with God that is undeniable.
Ok... no pressure... right?
Now, please, I KNOW that there are smarter and more knowledgeable bible scholars and I probably over-simplifying this - but i would challenge that the church needs to at least go through this process and really nail down a definition.
Once there is an understanding of what "healthy" is - now you have to take a look "inside" and understand "how does my church match up?" There are some great assessments and some great consultants out there who can help. You have to be able to "measure" what is going on however - and that may require some tools and some investment in technology or people or ... The point I'm trying to make is that we cant know whether or not we are healthy unless we know what "healthy" looks like and where we are in relation to that "ideal".
Last week, i woke up - always a good sign - felt great, no fever, no internal signs of being sick BUT every joint in my body was swollen. I am not a "husky" person (when i was a kid, there were "regular" jeans for boys... and then "husky" for the large boned) but i could not see my knuckles on my hand, my ankles were huge, and I could feel my feet filling my shoes. Now, this is not a plea for assistance - the best minds of medical and non-medical science - that are free - have been sought and are on the case - and with some change in diet, etc., the swelling has gone away. However, I was disconcerted and my wife made sure the life insurance was paid up (a pragmatic girl, to be sure)...
But this got me thinking - I knew something was "wrong" because I am conscious of how my body feels when it is "healthy". This got me thinking about the Body of Christ - the church... and then individual "churches" as a whole. What IS a healthy body when it comes to the church? How do we know when we are off and "sick"?
I think a great place to start is to look at the Bible (duh!) (CAVEAT: I am no scholar by any stretch of the imagination, so I would encourage you to do your own search in the Bible and THEN look at your church). I am thinking about, in general, Acts 2 and 6. The Acts 2 church, in my simplistic mind, taking care of one another, the sharing of resources and skills; just that overall feeling of belonging and of one body. It reminds me of the start-up church I was a member of - everyone really pulling together and building a great community even though we changed venues every couple of weeks (well... it felt like that). And then in Acts 6 you have growth, people who are "different" and here is **gasp** conflict... which is resolved by putting in a more formal organizational structure. In Matthew 28, we are called to go and make disciples. And as I was praying about this, I was looking at John 17 where Jesus prays that we will be one with the Father as He is one.
So... in a simple way, healthy from these perspectives could be a place where everyone is cared for and resources and skills are not squandered but used for the benefit of the community; there is healthy conflict and a flexible organization built to handle the inevitable challenges and produce disciples ultimately demonstrating a "oneness" with God that is undeniable.
Ok... no pressure... right?
Now, please, I KNOW that there are smarter and more knowledgeable bible scholars and I probably over-simplifying this - but i would challenge that the church needs to at least go through this process and really nail down a definition.
Once there is an understanding of what "healthy" is - now you have to take a look "inside" and understand "how does my church match up?" There are some great assessments and some great consultants out there who can help. You have to be able to "measure" what is going on however - and that may require some tools and some investment in technology or people or ... The point I'm trying to make is that we cant know whether or not we are healthy unless we know what "healthy" looks like and where we are in relation to that "ideal".
Friday, May 9, 2008
Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 2:
The second notion is really about how “welcome” or “cared for” the visitor “feels” at the church.
Now, for members, as the recent WillowCreek Community Church study outlines, “care” really varies by “where” that member is in their relationship to Christ.
But for visitors, the notion of Church Member Care is extremely important. They are in the process of weighing many factors while trying to make a decision (we will cover some of those shortly). But, when it comes to “care”, it breaks down into a matter of “perception” and “expectation”. In other words, we have expectations when it comes to how we believe a “visitor” (a guest) should be treated by the church (the host) and when we DO visit, that "expectation" is confronted with our “perception” of how we were, indeed, treated.
Remember, we are talking about people, so we are dealing with “expectations” and we are dealing with “perceptions” and not an analytical or even measurable “reality”.
To express Church Member Care differently, this might help:
CHURCH MEMBER CARE = (PERCEPTION) – (EXPECTATION)
Underlying the concepts of “Member Care” and “Member Sacrifice” are several forces that we all consider when choosing one “thing” or “group “ to join.
From Part 1 of this piece, we covered that we typically consider, sometimes consciously sometimes sub-consciously several variables when visiting a church:
• Time – how much time will it take for me and my family?
• Attitude – how do I and my family typically approach new experiences? How does this “feel”? Am I being welcomed?
• Effort – how much of my other resources will this take… and will it be “worth it”?
• Pain – how much does it hurt to leave what I currently have/do and, even before I get engaged HERE, am I willing to have this kind of pain again if I choose to leave here at some time?
• Loyalty – How will I know if these people are loyal to me and my family?
• Past and Present – what has happened to me in the past and what is happening now in my life that could be impacting my experience (was I last picked on a team as a child? Have I always been the “star”?)?
• Future – is this a place and group of people I could see growing old with? Have my children grow up in?
With these issues all up in the air… all individualized and personal… and really all operating in most of us at a sub-conscious level, the question becomes what, if anything, can a church do to minimize these concerns and have the visitor at least be willing to lower these barriers quickly and honestly?
When considering all of this it is important to remember that these things are very personal and individual. By this, I mean, that neither you nor your church… no one other than that person can control these things (no matter how hard you try). BUT you can work within these parameters in order to improve the likelihood that visitors will be willing to lower their barriers and the church and church members and staff will be organized and prepared for that lowering.
The process involves swiftly building relationships and then deepening those relationships. The key relationships from a “priority” perspective are:
• God
• Jesus
• Pastoral Staff
• Ministry Teams
• Small Groups
• Congregation
• Community
However, “priority” isn’t always the way things happen… or should happen.
Typically, the process of creating relationships is ordered this way:
• Community
• Congregation
• Pastoral Staff
• Jesus
• Small Groups
• Ministry Teams
• God
In the Willow Creek Community Church research, the data indicates that this is a process of becoming more “Christ and God Centered”. We tend to start with people we know and who we like.
That is, usually, people who are like us. If we don’t know anyone, we look for that type of a connection. We seek "common ground". If we do know someone, we look to assure ourselves that there are more folks “like us” that we can ultimately build connections with. This is why the most effective form of outreach and follow-up after a person has visited a church is to have a member of the congregation do the visit or “touch” rather than a member of the pastoral staff.
Making sure that we have aligned spiritual gifts and trained members of the congregation to effectively “greet” and begin that “connecting” process from the very start will help the visitor make their choice and the church grow in size and retain more members.
More important is making sure that we have a clearly outlined process, for both visitors and congregants, that defines a system for follow-up. Of all of this, though, and most important, is assuring that we have identified and trained those whose spiritual gifts, experiences and abilities line up with these types of a ministries.
Churches have a challenge. We’ve outlined a few of the psychological barriers our visitors erect. Being aware of these barriers and getting the staff, the board members, ministry leaders, small group facilitators, and any others all committed to dealing with these challenges and willing to improve the effectiveness of the outreach of the church is the first step. We are not just talking about increasing the number of attendees, we are talking about, really, connecting with people such that they choose a relationship with Christ and then choose to grow in that relationship.
Now, for members, as the recent WillowCreek Community Church study outlines, “care” really varies by “where” that member is in their relationship to Christ.
But for visitors, the notion of Church Member Care is extremely important. They are in the process of weighing many factors while trying to make a decision (we will cover some of those shortly). But, when it comes to “care”, it breaks down into a matter of “perception” and “expectation”. In other words, we have expectations when it comes to how we believe a “visitor” (a guest) should be treated by the church (the host) and when we DO visit, that "expectation" is confronted with our “perception” of how we were, indeed, treated.
Remember, we are talking about people, so we are dealing with “expectations” and we are dealing with “perceptions” and not an analytical or even measurable “reality”.
To express Church Member Care differently, this might help:
CHURCH MEMBER CARE = (PERCEPTION) – (EXPECTATION)
Underlying the concepts of “Member Care” and “Member Sacrifice” are several forces that we all consider when choosing one “thing” or “group “ to join.
From Part 1 of this piece, we covered that we typically consider, sometimes consciously sometimes sub-consciously several variables when visiting a church:
• Time – how much time will it take for me and my family?
• Attitude – how do I and my family typically approach new experiences? How does this “feel”? Am I being welcomed?
• Effort – how much of my other resources will this take… and will it be “worth it”?
• Pain – how much does it hurt to leave what I currently have/do and, even before I get engaged HERE, am I willing to have this kind of pain again if I choose to leave here at some time?
• Loyalty – How will I know if these people are loyal to me and my family?
• Past and Present – what has happened to me in the past and what is happening now in my life that could be impacting my experience (was I last picked on a team as a child? Have I always been the “star”?)?
• Future – is this a place and group of people I could see growing old with? Have my children grow up in?
With these issues all up in the air… all individualized and personal… and really all operating in most of us at a sub-conscious level, the question becomes what, if anything, can a church do to minimize these concerns and have the visitor at least be willing to lower these barriers quickly and honestly?
When considering all of this it is important to remember that these things are very personal and individual. By this, I mean, that neither you nor your church… no one other than that person can control these things (no matter how hard you try). BUT you can work within these parameters in order to improve the likelihood that visitors will be willing to lower their barriers and the church and church members and staff will be organized and prepared for that lowering.
The process involves swiftly building relationships and then deepening those relationships. The key relationships from a “priority” perspective are:
• God
• Jesus
• Pastoral Staff
• Ministry Teams
• Small Groups
• Congregation
• Community
However, “priority” isn’t always the way things happen… or should happen.
Typically, the process of creating relationships is ordered this way:
• Community
• Congregation
• Pastoral Staff
• Jesus
• Small Groups
• Ministry Teams
• God
In the Willow Creek Community Church research, the data indicates that this is a process of becoming more “Christ and God Centered”. We tend to start with people we know and who we like.
That is, usually, people who are like us. If we don’t know anyone, we look for that type of a connection. We seek "common ground". If we do know someone, we look to assure ourselves that there are more folks “like us” that we can ultimately build connections with. This is why the most effective form of outreach and follow-up after a person has visited a church is to have a member of the congregation do the visit or “touch” rather than a member of the pastoral staff.
Making sure that we have aligned spiritual gifts and trained members of the congregation to effectively “greet” and begin that “connecting” process from the very start will help the visitor make their choice and the church grow in size and retain more members.
More important is making sure that we have a clearly outlined process, for both visitors and congregants, that defines a system for follow-up. Of all of this, though, and most important, is assuring that we have identified and trained those whose spiritual gifts, experiences and abilities line up with these types of a ministries.
Churches have a challenge. We’ve outlined a few of the psychological barriers our visitors erect. Being aware of these barriers and getting the staff, the board members, ministry leaders, small group facilitators, and any others all committed to dealing with these challenges and willing to improve the effectiveness of the outreach of the church is the first step. We are not just talking about increasing the number of attendees, we are talking about, really, connecting with people such that they choose a relationship with Christ and then choose to grow in that relationship.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 1:
Churches have a challenging assignment in front of them. When I think about the role that churches have accepted, I am amazed that this is executed with predominantly volunteer efforts!
As I’ve spent time actively (and passively) involved in churches, I’ve come to realize that there are some obstacles in attracting new members and in retaining these members. To do this we have to "cut through" the "noise" that is our culture (I'm talking specifically about the U.S. here).
Many churches attempt to do this by:
• Creating an environment where that message has the best opportunity to be understood and acted upon, such that a personal relationship with Christ is created and developed.
• Building an ongoing series of programs, trainings, ministries, and experiences that foster that creation and growth such that God becomes the center of their lives.
And do all of this at a time in our culture that emphasizes pleasurable stimulation, personal entertainment, busy-ness and short attention spans.
The church is competing for souls in an environment unlike any we have ever faced before. We live at a time of fast food, microwaves, information (and misinformation) at your finger tips, TIVO, and iPods… Couple that with the notion that we live in the wealthiest society ever to occupy this planet. Sprinkle in a little (or more likely a lot of) debt that requires an ongoing pursuit of acquisition. And add a heaping cup of a society built on an economic system that teaches us to look for… no… to DEMAND a “Return-On-Investment” for our attention.
The challenge in front of churches to just get noticed and to attract visitors is tremendous.
The challenge in front of churches to fulfill on that “Return-On-Investment” belief is huge.
And often it feels like a church can sometimes be a “revolving door”, with visitors coming in the front and then disappearing… and we never find out why.
In order to stop some of that, it is important that we understand some of the psychological “wiring” that we all have that cause us to make decisions to “join” or “not join” a group.
With that in mind, there are a couple of concepts that come to mind that potentially impact church members and more specifically, church visitors who are in the process of trying to find a church home. These are some basic and typically sub-conscious “filters” through which we make our decisions.
When considering church visitors, we have to think in terms of the psychology associated with how people make choices. Most experts will agree that choices are usually made emotionally and then justified logically. Use yourself as an example… is Coke (or Pepsi) really that much better? Are you a “FORD MAN”?
In thinking about this process when it comes to church visitors, we need to consider several areas within which people make a choice. The first is the notion of “Church Member Sacrifice”. In everyone’s mind, we have a picture of “what would be perfect for me and my family”. Now this is always a range called “but I’d be willing to settle for”.
We might think about it this way:
CHURCH MEMBER SACRIFICE = (WHAT I WANT EXACTLY) - (WHAT WILL I SETTLE FOR)
Sacrifice is really what the visitor is willing to “give up” at a church. The parents that choose a great youth program over great worship music because they are focused on their teenaged son; or the single woman who attends a church simply because her friends are there. We all make these choices about what are we willing to give up vs. what do we get... we weigh the balance and then vote with our feet.
What is typically considered, sometimes consciously sometimes sub-consciously are:
• Time – how much time will it take for me and my family?
• Attitude – how do I and my family typically approach new experiences? How does this “feel”? Am I being welcomed?
• Effort – how much of my other resources will this take… and will it be “worth it”?
• Pain – how much does it hurt to leave what I currently have/do and, even before I get engaged HERE, am I willing to have this kind of pain again if I choose to leave here at some time?
• Loyalty – How will I know if these people are loyal to me and my family?
• Past and Present – what has happened to me in the past and what is happening now in my life that could be impacting my experience (was I last picked on a team as a child? Have I always been the “star”?)?
• Future – is this a place and group of people I could see growing old with? Have my children grow up in?
No church can answer all of these challenges or questions on just one visit, however, if we are to be effective at retaining visitors we need to see our environment through their eyes. Knowing the questions and challenges that visitors are considering will help us prepare our volunteers and staff. It may even help us in selecting who will serve where when we think about addressing the needs of visitors.
No church can be all things to all people... but we can take responsibility for presenting to our visitors or our potential visitors a very clear picture of who we are, who we are NOT, where our strengths lie, where we are headed, why we are headed that way, and how we plan on getting there. Providing clear overviews of the church either on the website, in mailings, in bulletins, and any other communications done will help potential visitors determine before they arrive whether or not you might be a place for them.
Through clarity of purpose, direction, and execution, we may not attract as many new comers, but the likelihood of keeping them around will increase.
As I’ve spent time actively (and passively) involved in churches, I’ve come to realize that there are some obstacles in attracting new members and in retaining these members. To do this we have to "cut through" the "noise" that is our culture (I'm talking specifically about the U.S. here).
Many churches attempt to do this by:
• Creating an environment where that message has the best opportunity to be understood and acted upon, such that a personal relationship with Christ is created and developed.
• Building an ongoing series of programs, trainings, ministries, and experiences that foster that creation and growth such that God becomes the center of their lives.
And do all of this at a time in our culture that emphasizes pleasurable stimulation, personal entertainment, busy-ness and short attention spans.
The church is competing for souls in an environment unlike any we have ever faced before. We live at a time of fast food, microwaves, information (and misinformation) at your finger tips, TIVO, and iPods… Couple that with the notion that we live in the wealthiest society ever to occupy this planet. Sprinkle in a little (or more likely a lot of) debt that requires an ongoing pursuit of acquisition. And add a heaping cup of a society built on an economic system that teaches us to look for… no… to DEMAND a “Return-On-Investment” for our attention.
The challenge in front of churches to just get noticed and to attract visitors is tremendous.
The challenge in front of churches to fulfill on that “Return-On-Investment” belief is huge.
And often it feels like a church can sometimes be a “revolving door”, with visitors coming in the front and then disappearing… and we never find out why.
In order to stop some of that, it is important that we understand some of the psychological “wiring” that we all have that cause us to make decisions to “join” or “not join” a group.
With that in mind, there are a couple of concepts that come to mind that potentially impact church members and more specifically, church visitors who are in the process of trying to find a church home. These are some basic and typically sub-conscious “filters” through which we make our decisions.
When considering church visitors, we have to think in terms of the psychology associated with how people make choices. Most experts will agree that choices are usually made emotionally and then justified logically. Use yourself as an example… is Coke (or Pepsi) really that much better? Are you a “FORD MAN”?
In thinking about this process when it comes to church visitors, we need to consider several areas within which people make a choice. The first is the notion of “Church Member Sacrifice”. In everyone’s mind, we have a picture of “what would be perfect for me and my family”. Now this is always a range called “but I’d be willing to settle for”.
We might think about it this way:
CHURCH MEMBER SACRIFICE = (WHAT I WANT EXACTLY) - (WHAT WILL I SETTLE FOR)
Sacrifice is really what the visitor is willing to “give up” at a church. The parents that choose a great youth program over great worship music because they are focused on their teenaged son; or the single woman who attends a church simply because her friends are there. We all make these choices about what are we willing to give up vs. what do we get... we weigh the balance and then vote with our feet.
What is typically considered, sometimes consciously sometimes sub-consciously are:
• Time – how much time will it take for me and my family?
• Attitude – how do I and my family typically approach new experiences? How does this “feel”? Am I being welcomed?
• Effort – how much of my other resources will this take… and will it be “worth it”?
• Pain – how much does it hurt to leave what I currently have/do and, even before I get engaged HERE, am I willing to have this kind of pain again if I choose to leave here at some time?
• Loyalty – How will I know if these people are loyal to me and my family?
• Past and Present – what has happened to me in the past and what is happening now in my life that could be impacting my experience (was I last picked on a team as a child? Have I always been the “star”?)?
• Future – is this a place and group of people I could see growing old with? Have my children grow up in?
No church can answer all of these challenges or questions on just one visit, however, if we are to be effective at retaining visitors we need to see our environment through their eyes. Knowing the questions and challenges that visitors are considering will help us prepare our volunteers and staff. It may even help us in selecting who will serve where when we think about addressing the needs of visitors.
No church can be all things to all people... but we can take responsibility for presenting to our visitors or our potential visitors a very clear picture of who we are, who we are NOT, where our strengths lie, where we are headed, why we are headed that way, and how we plan on getting there. Providing clear overviews of the church either on the website, in mailings, in bulletins, and any other communications done will help potential visitors determine before they arrive whether or not you might be a place for them.
Through clarity of purpose, direction, and execution, we may not attract as many new comers, but the likelihood of keeping them around will increase.
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